Dear LoveBites - My fiancé’s “pack” treats our home like a den. Seven werewolves, no notice, every weekend. They eat everything and sleep on the good furniture. My fiancé says I’m being “territorial.” The irony is lost on him.
— Over It in Ohio
Dear Over It,
You are absolutely right to feel territorial — it’s YOUR territory. Establish visiting hours before the wedding, not after. A pack that cannot respect a simple schedule will not respect a marriage.
Have the conversation now, before the vows, while you still have full negotiating power and a clean couch. Be specific. No unannounced visits. A reasonable limit on overnight guests — I would suggest two, maximum three, and never the whole pack simultaneously unless it is a designated occasion with a start time and an end time. Food consumed must be replaced. The furniture is off-limits, and if that is a problem, you will provide a designated area with blankets that can be laundered.
Present this not as an ultimatum but as the foundation of a household that works for both of you. A man who loves you will hear that. A man who calls you territorial for wanting notice before seven people eat your groceries is a man who has not yet understood that he is getting married, not just bringing someone home to the pack.
Also, get slipcovers. Furniture-grade, not decorative. The kind that can be removed and washed at high heat. You will thank me later.
LB