Dear LoveBites - my mother-in-law Griselda is a hedge witch of considerable talent and even more considerable opinions. Whenever she comes to dinner, she waits until I leave the kitchen and then quietly casts enhancement spells on whatever I am cooking. My pot roast now has a depth of flavor I cannot replicate. My bread rises in ways that defy physics. My soup has won two neighborhood competitions despite me having changed nothing about the recipe. People compliment MY cooking and I feel like a fraud. Griselda smiles and says nothing. My husband thinks this is hilarious.
— An Accidental Award-Winner
Dear Award-Winner,
Griselda is performing an act of love in the most irritating way imaginable, which is a very specific type of mother-in-law. She is not undermining you, she is, in her particular way, investing in your household’s reputation, but she is doing it covertly, which robs you of both the credit and the choice. Tell her directly and warmly that you have noticed, that you appreciate the results, and that you would like to learn what she is actually doing rather than receive it invisibly. Most hedge witches would be deeply gratified to teach. If she teaches you, the cooking becomes genuinely yours. And if she refuses and keeps enchanting in secret, at least you’ll have two more neighborhood trophies by spring.
LB