Dear LoveBites - In our house, every disagreement gets escalated into a formal elven council, complete with robes, minutes, and “someone” banging a gavel they definitely ordered online just for this purpose. Yesterday’s emergency session was convened over a truly historic dispute: whose turn it was to wash the dishes. There was a roll call. He took attendance. I don’t know how we got here.
- Craving a Council-less Cleaning
Dear Craving,
Pass a constitutional amendment immediately: anything under three dirty plates does not require a quorum, ceremonial staff, opening remarks, or the ancient voting stones. Minor sink disputes may be settled by rock-paper-scissors, like the founders intended. Save the robes and the gavel for genuine constitutional crises — leftovers ownership, thermostat sovereignty, the eternal question of whose name is on the milk. If someone tries to file a motion over two forks and a mug, table it indefinitely and hand them a sponge. And honestly, half these “councils” could be replaced by someone just saying out loud, “hey, can you grab the dishes today?” — a shockingly underused piece of technology called communication, no gavel required.
LB